one might say we're banned from that church
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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