so explain again why im purple
no
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
