Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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