I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
