so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
