Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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