I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
