I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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