boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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