i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
