is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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