So drunk, too bad you don't want this
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Too much gin, very little bucket
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
