Redeem this text for a blowjob
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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