Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
wow bdsm is so cute
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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