Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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