I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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