So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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