I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
