Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
