Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
