he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
