listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
His nipple licking is glorious
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