Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
