the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
