Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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