Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
