Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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