You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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