After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
