i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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