Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
