we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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