Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
