well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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