While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
