only if we run a train.
done.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
3 2 1 whiskey
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
