hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize