her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Say something about gay babies.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I am mentally ready for anal.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
