Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
