summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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