i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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