READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize