Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
