apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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