Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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