Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
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we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
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Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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