Redeem this text for a blowjob
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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