you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
