she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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