Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Randomize
