you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize