Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
