Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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