therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Randomize
