No stitches, just platelets and will power
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
