I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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