Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
