i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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