So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
